Quick question: What brings you joy?

If you struggled to answer that, you're not alone. When we're overstressed, it's easy to identify what's draining us. But what lifts us up? That's harder to see when all our attention is consumed by stress.

Sometimes we genuinely don't know what we enjoy. We're so focused on everyone else that we can't answer a simple question: What do I like?

Here's the thing about stress: everyone around you can see it except you.

I've been there countless times—in the middle of a stressful period, completely denying I was stressed. People close to me could see it clearly. I was either too deep in it to notice or too ashamed to admit it.

Let me ask you something:

Have you cried in your car after work? Felt so emotionally drained you questioned your entire career? Wondered where your passion went? Laid awake wondering how you can possibly keep doing this and stay sane?

When I first heard about "self-care," I pictured bubble baths and wine nights with friends. I thought I had it covered. Turns out, I was missing the point entirely.

Your body can't tell the difference between a predator attack and a stressful email. That's the problem.

When stress gets unbearable, we run. Most of the time, we don't even realize we're doing it. Or we rationalize it: "I work hard, I deserve this!"

The running looks like: overeating, drinking too much, smoking, overworking, endless scrolling, constant phone checking, shopping for things we don't need, zoning out to TV for hours, going out to eat constantly, gambling. Insert your favorite vice here.

We all have an inner critic. Mine can be vicious. Sometimes she has valid points I can learn from. The trick is knowing when she's being helpful versus when she's just holding me back.