Before You Break: Why Self-Care Isn't Optional
Let me ask you something:
Have you cried in your car after work? Felt so emotionally drained you questioned your entire career? Wondered where your passion went? Laid awake wondering how you can possibly keep doing this and stay sane?
If you've never felt any of this, congratulations—please share your secrets. But if you're like most of us in helping professions (or just taking care of others), you know exactly what I'm talking about. You've been there.
When Helping Hurts
Whether you're a nurse, teacher, therapist, social worker, or caring for a loved one—the work is rewarding. It's also exhausting.
Most of us started with enthusiasm and idealism. We believed we could make a difference. Years later? Many of us feel drained and beaten down.
The digital age doesn't help. Cell phones, emails, texts—we never truly disconnect. Some jobs expect us to be available 24/7. Small towns mean running into clients at the grocery store. There's no escape.
The Burnout Spiral
Here's what happens over time:
We realize we can't fix or save people. (That was never our job anyway.) We watch clients make self-destructive choices we don't understand. We see children failed by the very systems meant to protect them.
Our boundaries erode—or maybe we never had strong ones. We're awake at 2 am wondering how we'll get everything done. We overextend until there's nothing left to give. We feel like failures. We become bitter, resentful. We start believing nothing we do matters.
We forgot that to pour from our cup, it must first be full.
Welcome to burnout.
"We need to replace your vicious stress cycle with a vicious cycle of self-care."
— Dr. Sara Gottfried
Your Oxygen Mask First
Burnout doesn't have to be permanent. We can make different choices. But first, we have to stop pretending and acknowledge how we're really doing. You can't fix a problem you won't admit exists.
Remember what flight attendants say? Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs.
Self-care is your oxygen mask.
Stop Pretending
Stop pretending you're Wonder Woman.
Stop pretending your needs don't matter.
Stop pretending you can do everything alone.
Stop pretending you don't need help.
Stop pretending your time isn't precious.
Stop pretending you're not human.
Start Living
Start being real by discovering what brings you joy—and doing more of it.
Start acknowledging your needs and feelings matter.
Start saying no.
Start asking for help. Demanding it if necessary.
Start treating your time as the precious resource it is.
Start giving yourself the same compassion you'd give a friend.
Now that you've secured your oxygen mask, please breathe.
Self-care isn't a luxury or another item on your to-do list. It's how you survive. It's how you keep showing up—for others and for yourself.