That Voice in Your Head Is a Liar
We all have an inner critic. Mine can be vicious. Sometimes she has valid points I can learn from. The trick is knowing when she's being helpful versus when she's just holding me back.
My Critic Almost Won
For years, I thought about becoming a certified life coach. I enjoy helping people achieve their goals. I worked as an instructional coach for teacher, it was my favorite part of the job. I've personally worked with a coach and found it valuable.
But I didn't act on it. For years. Because of what my inner critic kept saying:
"You could never be good enough. You don't have your own life together, why would anyone pay you?"
"You don't know what you're doing."
"You're an imposter. When people find out what you're really like, you'll have no clients."
"The training is too expensive. It'll be a waste."
"You've tried businesses before and failed. Why would this be different?"
In spite of these thoughts, the idea kept coming back. I knew I needed to pursue it, my critic's comments be damned.
Confronting the Lies
Telling my inner critic to shut up wasn't working. I needed to face her arguments one by one.
I wrote down each concern. Seeing them on paper made them less powerful. Then I interrogated them:
"You're not good enough." This is fear talking. This same thought appears whenever I try anything new. If I take the training seriously, I can become skilled enough to help people. And the second part, about not having my life together? That's just not true. I'm not perfect, but people already seek me out for guidance. I must be doing something right.
"You don't know what you're doing." Of course I didn’t, I hadn’t started yet. I didn’t have to know everything right then. I would learn.
"You're an imposter." Every woman I know has experienced imposter syndrome. This one gets dismissed. It's not valid, not helpful. Next.
"It's too expensive." The training costs thousands, yes. But even people who didn't become financially successful coaches said the training benefited their professional and personal lives. Not a waste.
"You've failed before." I had started three businesses in the past. I didn’t see them as failures, they were learning experiences. Side businesses I enjoyed, made money from, then stopped when they no longer brought me joy.
What I learned: I need passion to sustain effort. Turning hobbies into businesses kills my joy. I have good skills: organized, persistent, quick learner, good with people. I love learning new things. It energizes me.
Moving Forward Scared
I signed up for the certification program.
Did all my fears disappear? No. I was still nervous I might fail. I was also nervous I might succeed.
I was scared. That's okay.
Fear of failure motivated me to study hard and do the work. I refused to be caught unprepared. And I believe we only regret the chances we didn't take. I'm using that, too.
Your Turn
What is your inner critic telling you right now?
Is there any truth in her comments, or is it just fear talking?
Pretending she's not there keeps you stuck. But separating the helpful from the hurtful? That's how you move forward.
Write down what she's saying. Look at it. Interrogate it. Then decide: Is this truth or is this fear?
Because sometimes the voice in your head is a liar. And you don't have to listen.