Real Self-Care: Beyond the Bubble Baths

Oct 16

When I first heard about "self-care," I pictured bubble baths and wine nights with friends. I thought I had it covered. Turns out, I was missing the point entirely.

What Self-Care Actually Means

Real self-care isn't passive, it's action. It's about preserving your health and protecting your well-being, especially when life gets hard. And here's the truth: the self-care fairy isn't coming to fix things for you. You have to do it yourself.

I learned this the hard way. My body literally screamed at me through stress hives—angry red welts that burned and itched. When I couldn't sleep, small problems became catastrophes. My body and mind were begging me to pay attention.

The Three Areas That Changed Everything

I needed a real plan, not just good intentions. I focused on three areas: physical, emotional, and mental. Here's what actually worked.

Physical: Start Ridiculously Small

I didn't overhaul my entire life overnight. Instead:

Sleep: I kicked my phone out of the bedroom. No more scrolling in bed. My bedroom became a place only for sleep and sex, nothing else.

Food: I cut processed junk and fast food, traded diet soda for unsweetened tea, and aimed to eat real food 80% of the time. The other 20%? I'm human. I love salt and vinegar chips. I just don't keep them in the house.

Movement: I aimed for 10,000 steps at least 5 days a week. Not running marathons—just walking. I stretch at night, do yoga weekly, and hike on days off. The key? I only do physical activities I actually enjoy.

Emotional: Feel Your Feelings

I used to shove my emotions down until I exploded—crying over nothing, raging over small things. It didn't work.

Now? If I need to cry, I cry. The relief is incredible. I talk to close friends and my husband about what I'm feeling and why. I take responsibility for my own emotions instead of blaming others. When I can't talk to someone (like when they've passed away), I write them letters.

I'm not caught in a tornado of feelings anymore. I'm learning to sit with them.

Mental: Talk to Yourself Like You'd Talk to a Friend

When I started listening to my internal dialogue, I realized I was really mean to myself. Made a mistake? I was "stupid." Did something well? It was "just luck."

I started questioning that voice. What would I say to a friend in this situation? I'm still working on self-compassion, but it's better.

The game-changer was my journaling. If I’m struggling with something, I write it down. Journaling helps to stop the spiraling thoughts and to release the stress out of my body and onto paper. I’m not perfect, I don’t journal every day, but when I do it, I always feel so much better.

Your Turn: Start Small

Don't try to do everything at once. That's a recipe for feeling overwhelmed and quitting.

Pick one or two things from physical, emotional, or mental self-care. If you're getting 3,000 steps now, aim for 5,000—not a 5-mile run. Meet yourself where you are and build from there.

The point of self-care is to feel better, not to stress you out. Start small. Be consistent, not intense. You deserve to take care of yourself, and it doesn't have to look perfect to work.

What's one thing you could try this week?

Melissa Pickle