I Love Learning. I Hate Being a Beginner.
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I'm a lifelong learner. When something sparks my interest, I dive in headfirst reading, researching, absorbing everything I can. Knowledge energizes me. Sharing what I learn with others lights me up.
But here's the thing I've had to face: I love learning new information. I hate being a beginner at actually doing it.
The implementation piece trips me up every time. I want to be instantly good at something. The stumbling, the awkwardness, the inevitable mistakes, it's deeply uncomfortable. But that discomfort? That's exactly where real growth happens.
Being Good at Speaking Doesn't Mean I'm Good at Business
I've been a public speaker for over 20 years. I'm comfortable on stage. I know how to connect with an audience, deliver content that resonates, and create meaningful impact. That part? I've got it down.
What terrified me was starting my own business two and a half years ago. And six months ago, when I made speaking my primary focus? That was a whole different level of beginner.
I knew my content inside and out. I'd spent years learning about burnout, stress cycles, and sustainable wellness. I could deliver a keynote without breaking a sweat.
But building a business around it? I had no idea what I was doing.
Marketing myself felt awkward. Setting my rates made me second-guess everything. Writing contracts, managing finances, pitching to programs, these weren't skills I'd developed over two decades of speaking. I was starting from scratch.
My inner critic was relentless. "You're supposed to be the expert. Why don't you know how to do this? Everyone's going to see you don't have it figured out."
The First Six Months Were Rough
Those early months focusing on my speaking business full-time were uncomfortable. I stumbled through pitch conversations. I overexplained my services because I was nervous about putting a price tag on my value. I second-guessed every business decision.
I'd replay awkward potential client calls in my head. I worried about cash flow. I questioned whether I should have just stayed where it was safe.
But here's what I've learned: I'm not supposed to be good at the business side yet. I'm new to this. These skills aren't natural to me. The only way to get better is to keep doing it.
Slowly, as I've kept showing up and practicing these new business skills, I'm becoming more comfortable. I'm learning to talk about what I offer with confidence. I'm getting better at setting boundaries, pricing my services, and marketing myself authentically.
The confidence didn't come before I started my business. It's coming from running my business.
The Doubts Haven't Disappeared
I won't pretend the voices of doubt are completely gone. I'm still building this. I learn something new about entrepreneurship every single day. Some days I get frustrated that progress feels slow. I want to be better right now.
When doubts creep in, I remind myself: it takes time and consistent effort to become proficient at anything. Building a business is no exception. I've made significant progress over these past months, and I need to focus on that growth instead of how far I still have to go.
How to Be a Better Beginner
I still don't like the struggle part of growth. Learning new skills is messy. Progress feels slow and uneven. If you're frustrated with being a beginner, here's what's helping me:
Expect the awkwardness. You're trying something new—it's going to feel uncomfortable. You might be great at your craft but terrible at the business side. That's normal. You mastered your skills before. You can master this too.
Be kind to yourself. You're not supposed to have it all figured out. You'll stumble. You're learning an entirely new skillset while probably unlearning old patterns too. That takes time. Beating yourself up only slows your progress.
Celebrate small wins. We fixate on the end goal and miss the progress we're making along the way. I celebrate every new client, every confident pitch conversation, every system I put in place. These small wins keep me moving forward.
Show up consistently. The only way to get out of the beginner phase is to keep practicing. The more often you work on your business skills, the better you get. Even small, consistent action makes a massive difference over time.
Where I Am Right Now
By accepting that I'm a beginner business owner still developing these skills, I've found I can actually enjoy this journey. I have goals—growing my speaking business, reaching more audiences, building something sustainable. I'm confident I'll get there.
But until then, I'm soaking up every lesson, learning from every potential client interaction, and showing up consistently. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now. And that's enough.
Fellow beginner, wherever you are in your journey: Show yourself some compassion. The awkwardness you're feeling? It's temporary. It's part of growth. Celebrate how far you've already come, and trust that the more you practice, the more confident you'll become.
You're not behind. You're just beginning.